Instructions
Please fill out a Judge-Your-Neighbor worksheet before the session, or we can fill one out together. Start by identifying your stressful thoughts from a moment in time where you can locate yourself. Short, simple statements work best. For example, “They don’t care about me,” or “They should listen to me.” If you want to work on a thought about yourself, please come prepared with an “I” statement, such as “I’m unlovable,” or “I’m not good enough.” I will walk you through the following steps until your work is complete.
The Work of Byron Katie includes four questions:
1) Is it true?
Yes, No, or I don’t know
2) Can you absolutely know it’s true?
Yes or No
3) How do you react, what happens when you think that thought?
Answer with as much detail as possible. Notice your reactions, emotions, physical sensations, and treatment of yourself and others. Bring yourself back to witnessing what happens in the original moment when your mind may tend to wander into explanation, defense, or justification. Allow your reactions to arise without judgement or condemnation.
4) Who would you be without that thought?
Witness who you are in that same situation without the previous thought(s). Notice what happens in the silence, including the sensations that may or may not be there, responses that may not have previously occurred to you, and different ways of seeing yourself and others.
Yes, No, or I don’t know
2) Can you absolutely know it’s true?
Yes or No
3) How do you react, what happens when you think that thought?
Answer with as much detail as possible. Notice your reactions, emotions, physical sensations, and treatment of yourself and others. Bring yourself back to witnessing what happens in the original moment when your mind may tend to wander into explanation, defense, or justification. Allow your reactions to arise without judgement or condemnation.
4) Who would you be without that thought?
Witness who you are in that same situation without the previous thought(s). Notice what happens in the silence, including the sensations that may or may not be there, responses that may not have previously occurred to you, and different ways of seeing yourself and others.
The second part of The Work asks us to turn the thought around:
For example, “They don’t care about me” can be turned around three ways.
To the self: “I don’t care about me.”
To the other: “I don’t care about them.”
To the opposite: “They do care about me.”
For each turnaround, find at least three examples for how it might be as true or truer than the original statement. In that moment, how might it be true that you don’t care about yourself or about the other person? How might it be true that they do care about you (even a little bit)?
Finding genuine examples allows the situation to live inside of you from a balanced perspective. Feeling what arises when you experience the turnarounds is the beginning of healing and getting in touch with your own wisdom. The turnarounds provide specific and practical instructions for living from a kinder place in those same challenging situations.
To the self: “I don’t care about me.”
To the other: “I don’t care about them.”
To the opposite: “They do care about me.”
For each turnaround, find at least three examples for how it might be as true or truer than the original statement. In that moment, how might it be true that you don’t care about yourself or about the other person? How might it be true that they do care about you (even a little bit)?
Finding genuine examples allows the situation to live inside of you from a balanced perspective. Feeling what arises when you experience the turnarounds is the beginning of healing and getting in touch with your own wisdom. The turnarounds provide specific and practical instructions for living from a kinder place in those same challenging situations.
“I have had the experience and pleasure of working with Meena over a six month period. She consistently extends a feeling of welcome, warmth, deep care, at times a brilliant, insightful quality. She holds silence and space wonderfully in order for me to find my answers and let them find me. Meena loves and has dedicated herself very fully to The Work of Byron Katie."
- Elizabeth M.
- Elizabeth M.
"Mind is infinitely creative. And when it's not stuck, that's where the joy comes from. Something happens, and the way we think about it, understand it, see it, is actually hilarious, whereas before it used to depress us."
- Byron Katie
